In the West, we view the Christmas Season as the pinnacle of happiness. We sing about it being the most wonderful time of the year in our carols. We sing of peace, happiness, and a word that often gets overlooked – joy! It may get lumped together synonymously with happiness, but joy is a peculiar thing to obtain. Joy is ecclesiastical. Joy is found in the person of Our Lord Jesus Christ. Joy is an attribute of the Holy Spirit, and we may be surprised to discover that joy is the fruit of repentance.
In the Orthodox Church, there is an icon of the Mother of God titled The Unexpected Joy. It portrays the soul-cleansing miracle that occurred for a man praying with penitence on his knees in front of an icon of the Theotokos. The story is found in the writings of St. Dimitri of Rostov (17th century), and is recorded as follows:
“This sinner had the habit of praying each day to the Blessed Virgin, often repeating the Archangel’s greeting: “Rejoice, O Virgin full of grace!” Once, before routinely going out to sin, he turned to the holy image and fearfully saw the Holy Virgin standing live with Her Divine Son in Her arms. The Infant had wounds on His hands and feet, and blood was flowing from a wound in His side, just as it had been on the cross. The sinner fell to his knees and cried out: “O Mistress! Who did this?”
“You and other sinners. Over and over again you crucify My Son by your sins, just as the Jews had done,” – the Theotokos answered softly.
“Have mercy upon me,” – tearfully cried out the sinner.
“You call Me the Mother of mercy, yet you offend Me and bring Me sorrow by your deeds.”
“No, Mistress,” – the sinner cried out in fear. – May my malice not overcome Thy indescribable kindness and mercy! Thou alone art the hope and safe haven of all sinners! Have mercy upon me, O benevolent Mother! Entreat Thy Son and my Creator on my behalf.”
Seeing a soul being purified by repentance, the most blessed Mother began to entreat Her Son: “My benevolent Son! For the sake of My love have mercy upon this sinner.” But the Son replied to Her: “Do not be angry, My Mother, if I do not obey Thee. I, too, entreated My Father to have this cup of suffering pass Me by.”
Over and over the Mother of God entreated Her Son, reminding Him how She had nurtured Him at Her breast, how She had suffered at His cross. But the Lord would not bend down to mercy. Then the Mother of God arose, put Her Son down, and was ready to fall at His feet. “What dost Thou wish to do, Mother?!” – cried out the Son. “I shall remain, – She replied, – lying at Thy feet together with this sinner until Thou forgivest him his sins.” Then the Son said: “The law requires a son to venerate his mother, while justice demands that the giver of the law be himself obedient to the law. I am Thy Son, Thou art My Mother; I am obliged to do Thee homage by fulfilling Thy request. Let it be as Thou wishest! His sins are now forgiven for Thy sake! And as a token of forgiveness, let him press his lips to My wounds.”
The sinner arose, with trembling and joy kissed the most holy wounds of the Infant, and came to himself. When the vision ended, he felt within his heart both awe and joy. His soul exulted, streams of tears ran down his face. He kissed the icon, filled with gratitude for having found repentance and forgiveness, and prayed that he be granted the gift to always see his sins and repent of them. His life changed completely and remained God-pleasing to the end of his days” (http://www.holy-transfiguration.org/library_en/moth_unexp.html).
What a moving story, and wonderful lesson for us all! The man on bended knee venerated the Theotokos daily, even lovingly, but he would routinely go off afterward to sin. We don’t know if it was one unique sin he repeated, or if it was many sins in general that he would commit. In either case, we can look no further than our own lives to understand this doublemindedness. We all sin daily, and how often do our sins begin immediately following our prayers? Speaking for myself, there are times I’ll have the most graceful morning prayer, spend hours in Scripture and the commentary of Saints, then immediately upon stepping out of my office and checking my phone, I’ll read something that angers me, and I’ll give myself over fully to a wrathful mood for the rest of the day.
The man in the icon moved from grief to grief, and how often are we in the same position of repenting then falling, repenting then falling? Yet, the vision of our Lord’s bleeding wounds moved his heart to true contrition, and his repentance was so genuine that it moved the Mother of God to intercede for him to Christ (any who doubt the intercession of the Theotokos need not look further than the wedding feast in Cana of Galilee to see witness that She has always interceded to her Son on the behalf of the needy), and what takes hold of his heart after this repentance that brought his forgiveness? Joy!
We can get in caught in a spiritual rut, moving through the motions of our liturgical life with a cold and distant heart. This is not right, and it brings no benefit to us nor approval from our Lord. We can call on God, the Saints, and the Most Holy Theotokos, but if we don’t mean what we say, we are like bells rung for no reason, and no one hearkens to its call. It’s especially evident during the Nativity Fast when we go to do our prayer rule and sometimes can barely bring ourselves to perform even one prostration. We’re called to pray more in this season, but we may find ourselves praying less, and maybe even find ourselves in a state of despondency.
It could be oppression from the adversary as we move more towards God, or it could be our own self-oppression that we’ve burdened ourselves with by long Christmas shopping lists to fulfill, lights to hang, and dinner parties to plan. It’s possible that we may get caught up in the worldly happiness of the season in a way that entirely keeps us from joy. On the other hand, some people get seasonal depression as the weather changes once more, while still others become burdened during this season because they remember loved ones who have passed. Whatever it is that distracts us from our forty-day struggle of fasting (if one is able) and prayer as we build up to the celebration of the Nativity of our Lord, there’s one sure way we can obtain joy in this season, namely by repentance.
“Repent, for the kingdom of heaven has come near,” are the words of our Lord (Matt. 4:17), echoing those of the one crying in the wilderness before Him (Matt. 3:2). In the story of the icon, the man unexpectedly found joy in his genuine repentance that led to his forgiveness, and as the story says, his life changed completely and he remained God-pleasing to the end of his days. That can be said of us if we live a life of repentance.
In the Nativity season, we reflect on Christ’s Incarnation and its ontological implications for our lives. Christ truly forgives our sins and truly cleanses us as many times as we come to Him, rekindling the joy in our souls. Many, many points of help are granted to us because of the Incarnation. We have, as the story shows, a great help in the Ever-Virgin Mary as an intercessor on our behalf to God. We further have the Saints who intercede around the throne for us. No less do we have the angels who protect and guide us in our lives, leading us to good thoughts and repentance. The Clergymen are also as angels on Earth, guiding us continually to God, and interceding for us in Confession and prayer. Finally, but not least of all, we have the grace-filled Sacraments of the Church unto the remission of sins, for the healing of soul and body, salvation, and life everlasting.
May we remember our death in all that we do, so that we will not sin (Sirach 7:36). When we do sin, let us repent again and again and again. A life of continual repentance will lead us, as in the story told in the icon, to a life of unexpected joy. Let us not squander our days in idleness, or beguiled by passions so that God willing, we will inherit everlasting joy in the Kingdom to come.