Sara stepped outside her front door into the September air. The intense heat of summer had ended and the Autumn breeze slowly staked its claim on the small town. She planned on planting daffodils in the front flower bed so that they’d be ready to bloom once Spring came back around. Next, she would go around back of the house to pick what was left of the ripened tomatoes from her garden. Afterwards, she would plant more spinach for the Fall. But before she could make it down the steps, she noticed something out of place on her porch. It was a white envelope with her name written on the front in a familiar script. She walked back inside, and went down the hall to her office. She opened the top-left drawer of her desk to find the mail-opener. Her hands trembled when she cut the fold and pulled out the letter.
Hello Sara was written at the top in the same familiar handwriting as was on the envelope. Her eyes read over the string of words that followed.
“It’s been twenty-three days since I’ve last seen your face; I’ve missed you every one of them. I would have written sooner, but the grief that comes over me when I begin to write is immeasurable. I want you to understand how I feel. I don’t know if what I’ll say will make sense, but I’ve gathered myself enough to give it my best shot.
“Before we even broached romance, you very bluntly explained to me that you’ve always been let down after you’ve opened your heart to another. Do you remember? I quickly promised you that I’d never let you down like that. I meant it when I said it, but when I did indeed say it, I was wrong. For I let you down when I allowed you to slip away without trying to hold things together.
“I caught glimpses of the real you, the girl whose emotions are as deep as a cavern and who cares for others with all the strength of the ocean’s tide. Then the subtlety in your smile changed. I could feel you making slow, steady, and the most calculated space between us. You put back on a congenial mask, even to me, one that you’ve crafted for the outside world. Instead of letting me into your life further, you decided that I was to be one more person you’d attempt to fool with a smile until you could make a full break, as I’m sure you’ve done many times before. I became someone you chose not to let in any longer, and that’s what really hurt the most.
“I didn’t fight it, I merely observed it, and now I realize just what I’ve lost.
“Of course, you are free to make any decision that you like. You don’t owe me an explanation. I know my life brings trouble, and I haven’t figured out a way to maneuver through it all yet. However, I know what I want. I won’t repeat my mistakes, the ones that drove you off. This time I’ll be patient, I’ll be kind. I won’t envy and I won’t brag. I won’t be proud, and arrogant, nor will I be rude to you. I won’t insist on my own way, nor will I be irritable or resentful towards you. I won’t rejoice at wrong-doing, but only in truth. Then, and only then will I be worthy of your love.
“I’m asking for another chance. One that I surely don’t deserve, but one that I need. Hopefully it’s one you’ve been thinking of giving me this whole time we’ve been apart, as I suspect you have been. But if you weren’t, then perhaps I never knew you at all.”
He didn’t sign it, but he didn’t have to. A tear slipped from Sara’s eye and wetted the dry ink. He was right about every word. She had thought about him every day. She stood in silence for a moment, and then, forgetting all about the flowers and vegetables, she sat down at her desk with a blank sheet of paper and began to write.
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