As one is preparing to be brought into the Orthodox Church, it is easy and exciting to get caught-up with online chatter. We find a new community and feel compelled to constantly share all of the new and wonderful things we find. It’s heartwarming to see Catechumens posting icons, quotes of the Saints, newly-made prayer corners, and spiritual books they are reading. It is an exciting time, preparing for renewal, and may God strengthen all of the Catechumens in their struggles. However, we must be careful in our time of preparation that we not move too quickly from sharing what we have found to teaching it, because Catechesis is about being instructed, and if we are being instructed, how effectively can we instruct others?
Learning about God, and communing with God, even more so, is different from learning mathematics, or natural sciences; philosophy, or grammar. It’s not necessarily “see one, do one, teach one,” as in the medical field. There is a time for everything (Ecc. 3:1). If you are called to teach, as some are (Eph. 4:11-16) then God will give it at the right time, but not all are called to teach. Further, there are different ways to teach, and our living example is the greatest teacher of all. As much as there are very intellectually savvy Orthodox Christians, and no lack of online “teachers,” there are also Orthodox Christians in remote villages of Russia who cannot read. Yet they go to Church, partake of the Sacraments, and are holy, though they never graced Substack, never turned on a webcam, or uploaded a video to YouTube.
The devils can try to keep us from God by making us feel as if we are too unlearned to become Orthodox, but some of our greatest Saints, who saw God and led innumerable hearts to Him by the indwelling of the Holy Spirit, were classically uneducated. God was their teacher by way of Holy Scripture and Holy Tradition. May we never forsake these pillars in order to find some new teaching in the world for our itching ears.
Another obstacle is when we are flattered by others (or we can even flatter ourselves), puffing us up in our new learning, giving us unholy self-esteem to teach others in a time when we ourselves are needing to be taught. This idea came to mind when I recently read the letters of St. Joseph the Hesychast, in which he wrote to one of his spiritual children:
“I, on the contrary, as has been shown, am only fit to guard the rocks, since I lack such a gift and am unworthy to preach…. Woe to me, the lowly wretch, if I do not contemplate such things and acknowledge the graces of my brethren. What account shall I give on Day? For after being tricked once and twice into preaching by flattery, I tried but failed completely. And now I still suffer the consequences…. Woe to me, the lowly old-timer! As I gather from the appearance of things, twice have I gone against the divine will out of ignorance (Letter 52).”
If such a great and holy Saint of God had this experience, then how much more carefully we, who are new in the faith, must be in seeking God’s will to know what we are and are not meant to do, and when? Whether teaching or preaching, to marry or become a monastic, to become clergy or to live out the Gospel in the world as a layman with a regular job. We are all called to different things while still being of one body; all given different gifts yet there is one source of them all.
Let us ask God what His will is. Not alone, for we are not saved alone, but with spiritual guidance from our Priest or Spiritual Father. We safely seek for God’s will by following the commandments; we learn what the commandments are through Holy Scripture and their full meaning through Holy Tradition. We learn how to live out the commandments through reading the lives of the Saints, and the grace we need to fulfill the commandments comes from God Himself. This is a life-long endeavor.
Just as we didn’t grow from a baby into an adult overnight, but slowly over time, we will not become a theologian overnight. Spiritual progress is different than secular progress. I write this not from empty condemnation, but from a place of experience, since I was a Catechumen who wrote about Orthodoxy before I came into the Church, speaking of things I did not yet fully understand. As I tried to relay the truths I found to others in my newfound zeal, even the ones who wanted to truly know, many, many frustrations came. After being brought into the Church, I learned that it is best to receive blessings for things we do, and so I did ask and received a blessing from my Priest and Archbishop to write, but there were stipulations, and my learning has been set by God’s pace, not my own.
So, do not completely get caught-up in Online Orthodoxy, whether through flattering or factious conversations. Use the internet for the tool that it is, but the Mind of Christ is given to us in the Services of our One, Holy, Catholic, and Apostolic Church. Let the Priest show your path into the Church, as God has ordained him to do, with full faith that God will guide you, and with the humility to be taught. Don’t be anxious that you do not understand everything just yet, that is okay. It’s about the heart. Whether one is an inquirer, a catechumen, or has been Orthodox their whole life, we are all always learning of God. Our learning doesn’t end in this life; throughout all eternity, God willing we obtain our salvation, we will ever-learn of our God who is unsearchable in all of His ways. No matter how long or short we have been struggling, realize that we have to live in this moment, and redeem the time (Ephesians 5:16). As Blessed Elder Arsenie (Papacioc) said:
“The moment is very important, if you know how to live it. Therefore, live the moment to rectify the past and to conquer the future! Don’t think about what will be. Leave the future to solve its own problems! Live this moment properly, and leave your life in God’s hands (Eternity in the Moment, 7)!”
Glory to God for all things.
-Reader Paul (Sanders)